Conker's Food Prep: Making a Grain Meal

The previous post was about making meat meals for Conker. This time it's about the grain meals.

I go about making grain-based meals for Conker in a different fashion that meat meals. These are made fresh every day, which drives Conker crazy because he has to wait an additional 10-15 minutes for his food to be fully ready.
If you have not read the previous post about the meat meals, you won't understand the next part, so go read it now.

The grain meal recipe is somewhat short compared to a meat meal

This is what a typical grain meal looks like. It includes things like sardines, egg, and supplements. The oats are not a "filler" to carry the other stuff, they are actually a required part of the diet.

Note: I use "dry" oats in the recipe. This is technically wrong, since the nutrient profiles of dry and cooked oats are somewhat different. I have already compared them in the past and I know the slight differences. I use dry oats in the recipe so I know exactly how much I need to use. "1/3rd cup cooked oats" is a very vague term, and the nutrients it contains depends on a lot of factors like how much water, how long it was cooked, how long they've sat for, etc. so it's not exactly accurate enough for me. Who is, as you might have figured out by now, a bit neurotic about this.

When determining how I am going to make a grain meal for Conker, I need to know what else he is being fed. So while I am calculating up Conker's meat meal on Nutritiondata, I also punch in what I plan on using as a grain meal (two separate recipes) to make sure everything levels out alright.

Nutrient profile for "Oat Mash"

See how it fills in the gaps in the meat meal? It supplies Vitamins D and E, tops off the B's and boosts the manganese and magnesium up to acceptable levels, as well as adds a couple other things like iron, phosphorus, potassium, and a bit of zinc and copper.


After I know what I need for a meal, I go ahead and make it. This is something I actually enjoy doing every day seconds after I get out of bed. (Seriously. I don't even get dressed first. I stick the pot of oats on the stove and light it before changing to day clothes.)

I start by measuring out the oats and water.*
I use 3 parts water to 1 part oats. If I were using 1/3rd cup of oats (which is about how much I actually do use) I would use about 1 cup water.  I put them into the pot at the same time instead of waiting for the water to boil (makes a much creamier, and in my opinion, quite nicely cooked pot of oats) then putter around the kitchen for a bit, or make myself some breakfast.

Cooked oats

After the oats have begun to bubble I stay near the pot to be sure they don't stick. I stir them frequently so they get cooked evenly and break up a bit. After they are hot enough, I turn the heat down and simmer for something like 5-8 minutes, stirring every minute or so.
About now is when Conker gets impatient and savages one of the Girls' faces.

Unmixed oats with stuff added

When the oats are done the water has coked down quite a bit and they are pretty busted up. They are nice and creamy and look fabulous, that's how I know they are actually done. So I dump them into one of Conker's bowls for cooling and thickening and either clean the pot or let the gremlin lick it.
After they have thickened a bit (about 3-5 minutes) I add in the sardine, egg, and supplements. I chop up the sardine good (with a spoon!) and mix everything together so you can't really tell one thing from another.

Finished oats

I let it cool for another minute or so, then grab the thawed meat meal, dump it into a bowl (or let Conker just eat out of the plastic thing) and head to my room. Conker eats in my room with the door closed since he's very defensive of his food and it's better for him to not have to be stressed with thinking one of the Girls (who know to leave him the fuck alone when he's eating) will try to steal from him.


And that's it! Cooking for Conker is quite easy once the hang of it has been gotten. And since I cook breakfast for myself every day anyways, it's pretty simple to throw a pot of oats on for the dog as well. I could just make a huge batch and stash it in the freezer/fridge but I prefer to do it fresh every day.


Next up on Conker's Food Prep: Supplements!


* Sometimes I use pre-made Lithe Tea instead of "regular" water.