What just happened

Me:  *takes a tupperware of oat mix out of the fridge*
Conker:  Oh, is that for me? *sits perfectly* See? I'm sitting, you should give me those oats now.
Me:  I don't think you want these.
Conker:  Why not?  I'm sitting, isn't that what you want?
Me:  They are cold.
Conker:  I don't care! Can't you see I'm sitting?  I thought you liked it when I sit?
Me: Okay fine, you can have the oats.  *puts the tupperware on the ground*
Conker:  FINALLY!  *rushes forwards to eat the oats*

A minute and a half later...

Conker:  *burps* Ahh, that was good.
Me:  You done already?  There's still like, two thirds of that left.
Conker:  Well, they are old, and I prefer my oats fresh.  Besides, I'm full.
Me:  Liar.  You love oats, you always finish your oats.
Conker:  True, but I don't love these oats.
Me:  *points to the tupperware*  Eat your damn oats.
Conker:  No.  *walks away*

Another minute later...

Me:  *microwaves oats for 20 seconds*
Conker:  They still aren't fresh.
Me:  But they're warm.  You like warm food.
Conker:  I don't care of they're warm old oats, I want fresh oats.
Me:  Well too bad, you don't get any fresh oats.
Conker:  *sits with his back to the oats*
Me:  Juneau!  Come over here and eat Conker's oats!
Juneau:  Okay. *slurps up the oats*
Conker:  What, what are you doing?
Me:  That's what happens when you don't eat your food.  Juneau gets it.
Juneau:  Thank you! 
Conker:  I really hate you right now.